Monday, October 19, 2020

 YOU MAKE MY HEART RACE WITHOUT DOING A THING

Their hearts are lying in the autumn still,
Where winds are shedding dried feelings
Until,
The new ones finds a home forever,
For new love to bloom and emptiness to refill

Have you ever met someone so special with whom you can share everything and everything?
Someone who makes you feel like you have known them for eternity?

Be it destiny or luck , you find someone someone so much compatible in every way, this person brings life to you, makes you feel complete and loved ,the jokes ,the laughter that come along, the quick glances ,the stares and the smiles ,the silly fights over misses ,and the playful moments and above all the kisses  ,so real but imaginary , the long deep sachhariferous kisses so sweet  ,feeling his breath on yours, his lips on yours and his chest against yours and the rest that come with that. This guy is perfect before your eyes.

Then this goes on for quite a while not knowing what the two of you have. It becomes confusing. No one speaks ,you are both scared of defining you have ;as a girl you are more afraid to make the first move, asking, fear of rejection; likes being rejected anyway?

So the best alternative is going with the flow hoping, crossing your fingers that one day this special someone will open up and say something about what he feels .But No, nothing changes and you become tired of waiting . Its like waiting for rain in the desert .Something close to impossible .It hurts .
It really hurts and now thoughts begin to flock in: "maybe you actually never meant anything to this guy ... may be he was just passing time ... What if it was just a one sided feeling ...what it was infatuation and not love? But if it was why the hell did he make the first move? Why did he have to ignite this spark that he couldn't keep burning ?What of the signs ? The many things you had in common? The compatibility ? Was it all a joke ?

And ,What happened that night?
Was it normal ? Was it love ? Was it lust or just burst of emotions for fulfilling physical need?

Moving on them becomes a solution, the solution which needs an silent assessment .You try so hard to get over this person though it seems unfeasible ,but console yourself that you deserves better and that he wasn't really meant for you and there is someone out there who is worth your love. Days go by and you feel stronger in the sense that you are getting there .He is hard to resist;  hard to forget  and even hard to ignore. He comes back again...he is a weakness and you fall into trap one more time .How you have to start the struggle all over again!!You then realize that this guy has messed you up, you can't find another guy as interesting .Other guys kisses seems like the waste of time .The bond created between you and him was too strong and everything of his matched yours .He's just incomparable. The shared moments ,the nights together ,the silly midnight  talks  and all the memories make it even harder for you to forget this guy, above all , your bestie really like him for you. It becomes hard to imagine that the guy you feel so safe ,warm, free, happy and comfortable around isn't and will never be yours .Tears become part of you every night ,praying to God to help you through this storm. You were willing to do absolutely anything for this guy, help him through his worst and support  him in all he does.

And ,the good thing about him was he could notice when you were down and would try to cheer you up during your sad moments .

On this day , he decides to finally speak up ,saying how he knows ,he has messed you up, apologizing for hurting you and your feelings saying that he really likes you a lot but he doesn't really know what he really wants , he himself is messed up too , he is scared of commitments and thinks that once in a relationship ,things might change for the worst and it will ruin the friendship you have built ;both of you decide to remain to ,friends ,as it will be much better this way ,though you feel crushed inwardly, it remains the best alternative .

How can you be just friends with someone who your heart longs to be with? Whom you have shared so much with? Someone , who you think is your better half ? Your own soulmate ?

Reality strikes hard and letting go is no longer an option. The dreams and the fantasies have to come to an end especially the thoughts of ever having a future with him.

Deep down you feel that you can never get someone like him unless God intervenes and sends one like him or better than this guy. Now focusing  on other greater things is the only way out. You got to pick up the pieces and carry on .Trying to make yourself better is also a plan that can help you focus more on yourself.

You also communicate ...yes , because you promised nothing will change the friendship , the guy is still amazing in every way ;not even what transpired can change the love you once had for him.
And now it is time to see what God  has in store. 

But deep inside you both now , God will never intervene because He has already transpired to let you meet , let you dream ,,,let you love ...

Always longing for you 💘

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Love Butterfly Effects


Bye.” The girl said, looking in his eyes for the last time.

“I will miss you.” The guy spoke in a woeful voice.

Sitting on a bench, they both were looking in each other’s eyes forgetting the whole world around them.

Those four years of togetherness were going to end in an instant.

The train had finally arrived on the station.

He accompanied her to her compartment. He made sure she kept all her bags properly.

They both sat together holding their hands for a few minutes, till the train gave its last signal to proceed.

Their eyes were numb and words got frozen.

They were constantly looking in each other’s eyes, but didn’t utter a single word.

“Please don’t go.” The boy spoke his heart out in his mind.

He was silently praying to god that this moment won’t ever come to a halt.

All those cherished memories of their togetherness, came in a flash in front of them.

Like, the first time they both saw each other.

The way he secretly used to look at her in the class while they were sitting for the lectures.

The time when they started talking on phone for hours without a single pause in between.

Their frequent hang outs together.

When they both fell in love and never figured out when it happened.

When they tried studying together but never finished a single chapter.

When he ate half of her ice-cream saying that the one he is already having is flavorless.

That moment when they both kissed for the first time.

All these recollections of those precious memories, surrounded them, in this so called last-minute’s engagement of their life.

Finally, the train’s siren rang.

The guy holds her in his arms and hugs her firm for the last time.

They forgot everything around them for those few seconds.

The guy gave a peck on her forehead and went outside the compartment.

He stood in front of her window, smiling, and waved her a final goodbye.

He pretends to smile but from inside, he was going to burst in tears.

The girl fought her tears as well.

Slowly, the train started moving ahead. He waved at her, she waved at him and finally he saw her disappearing from his sight.

Three years later…

The guy still comes on the same platform, sits on the same bench and remembers their final meeting.

He knows that she is gone from his life forever. But still, he shows up where he once waved her ‘The last goodbye’.

 

I hope we are born someday in a world where I and you fall head over heels in love with me like I fell for you.

 Ready to travel in 2020


Halves of a whole

Makes you and me 

Just like my words

Reside in your heart 

& embellish your smile

Just like your breath

Become my skin

Just like you become mine 

And did'nt realize ever since when 

You had me imprinted as yours

Five years of relationship. Both were settled in their life. Out on a dinner date for the fifth anniversary.

He- You booked the whole restaurant ?

She (mischeviously) - Nope. Probably no other person decided to come here this evening. Probably their food is bad.

He chuckles.

They both have dinner. Talks about random things. About coconut choclate bars, and chole bhature and black dogs, and selling pani-puri together in future. The waiter pours more wine after dinner.

He- Will you dance with me?

She (thoughtfully)- Let me think, I am wearing a saree, heels, am a terrible dancer.

*Think some more* Definitely. (With a wide smile).

She take her heels off. They both start with naagin dance and then do some random steps. Then they settle down for slow dancing. She keeps her head on his chest.

He (his arms around her, his face on her head)- I love your perfume.

She (playfully) - I also love my perfume.

He smiles.

Just then, the projector starts playing a movie on the screen. A ten minute movie of their memories together. He is in awe of it. Five years of memories. Sweet, bitter, painful, lovely. The roller coaster ride. The smiles and the tears, the break ups and the patchups. The songs and the photos, the movie has it all. It ends. He turns around, pleasantly surprised on this lovely gift, and finds her sitting on her knees, in a red saree, with a ring in her hand, surrounded by the photographs he had taken over the years, her books, and some cookery books.

She - I can't promise to bring or buy stars for you, I am not that rich. But I can promise that together we will have two little stars of our own who'll make our life beautiful. I can't promise to be the best cook ever, but I can promise that together we will burn many chapatis. I can't promise that I will look stunning in every photograph you will take, but I can promise that I will always be beside you in each of them. I can't promise the world that I will write for it, but I can promise that you will wake up to my words every morning for the rest of your life. So Mr Handsome, will you marry me ?

He sits down on his knees too. Tears of joy in his eyes, a wide smile over his handsome face.

He- Shouldn't I be doing this ?

She (smilingly) - Stupid boy. Just say your signature hmm, acha, okay, vhi, Sahi hai. Just say yes, my knees are paining. Also I will make you wash this Saree. She pulls his nose.

He laughs out loud.

He- Yes, stupid girl, I will marry you !

They both kiss. The new chapter of their life had finally begun.

We all want ...........To be art of someone....................................................................