Saturday, June 30, 2012

SMS Girlfriend...


Vp:SMS es are always misleading.
Me:No,my sms es are not fake.It reveals my feelings to you in a non       
      verbal  way.
Vp:Why you choose non verbal way.It always fill my inbox.My phone   
      memory is only 2 MB.We are best friends and even more than 
      that,you know,there is no need of that.
Me:I know,but i like messaging...You know everytime i recharge my 
        phone i get 500 messages Free.
Vp:You are so ... (after thinking for a while) send them to a girl.Fall in 
      one -sided love.Feel it.Try luring a girl with sms es.
Me:I have no girl's number.
Vp:Hmmm...Okay ! I will you introduce you to a girl tomorrow in the 
      branch party.Ask her number.But don t give her your    
      number.Anyways,i don't think think she will ask for it.
Me:As you say.

After a couple of days,i and her were busy exchanging messages,cute messages,good morning messages,Miss yousms,Good evening sms,Sleep well sms es,Double meaning sms,Rainy day,Sardar sms,Wise word sms, santa banta message,wise word message,etc,etc,


After a couple of months,
Me:Bitch,,,aviation blonde,Aunt Jemima
Vp:What happened ?
Me:Anki betrayed me,,,i wasted 5500 on phone bills,and i don't know 
      how many nights on her plus my malehood fluid which went away in 
      sewer drain without any result.She is a hardcore B.
Vp:Man,,,i gave you a BBW and now you call her a B.She was a HB for 
      you when you met her and now she is an aviation blonde.What 
      happened?Explain clearly.
Me:See my inbox.
Vp:Phone inbox...!
Me:Na ,,,my inbox?
Vp:(After reading the messages in the inbox)Ha ! ha ! ha!

Well the message in the inbox were the last couple of days conversation.Not to mention in my words,they are as follows:

DAY 5:
Me:Will you marry?
Anki:Who?You?(After a pause before i could reveal my feelings)No.I will never marry.I am happy without marriage.
Me:Hmmm...
Anki:Why you ask that?
Me:(Skipping the question)Yesterday was my night shift.
Anki:Sooo sad...No rest the whole night and today full bed rest. Ha ! Ha!

DAY 6:
Me:You know ,yesterday boiler tripped and you came in my thoughts the 
       very moment i synchronised the generator with the infinite bus.
Anki:Hooo !Hoooo!  (Instead of encouraging this steamy 
        conversation)What is boiler trip and bus doing in  a power plant?
Me:(Skipping the question very politely)You remember me.
Anki:Yes,Yes!At the time i message you and sometimes when you 
        message me.
Me:(Heart break) Only two times.
Anki:Two times isn't enough.I can 't think about you all the times.That 
         would be a different kind of relationship.
Me:(Hiding my feelings and trying to express in a different way)You 
       know a person feels comfort only in two place.
Anki:Where?Where?
Me:One,When he is on bed after C shift and the other you will not 
      understand.
Anki:Why i will not understand?
Me:Because you said you will never marry.You remember?
Anki:Yeah...I said it like that only....What is the other place
Me:When you are with your wife after B shift.
Anki:Wooo! Woooo!

During the next days and furthur to come ,we  talked about APJ Abdul Kalam becoming the president,exchanged all kind of sms es,etc.We also talked about our foods,dinner,breakfast,etc.
DAY 9:
I asked her to read my blog.
Me :You read my blog.
Anki:Hey.Its really gud...u mention ur power plant in an amazing way...i 
         am spellbound yaar...gud comparison of yur plant wid d rocket ha 
         ha...n haan u have a girlfriend,,,did'nt mention it before 
         haan....something fishy.
Me:Thanx for reading.U liked it.Going to kolkata 2day.
Anki:Kolkata for what reason...ya gf Kavita se milne.
Me:Na..Na...She got married a couple of years back.Going to take a exam.
      She was my school crush.You too must have a crush on somebody...
Anki:Nopes...Not lucky on this one.Ok...All the best for the exams.

DAY 14:
She started getting busy which resulted in her of ignoring  me. Well, everybody  has his life and their daily work.I got impatient sometimes.She was growing as if i was getting addicted towards her.But she denied to understand or reply to my feelings.May be this was too early.But what today happened, i think this relationship did'nt deserve to be continued furthur. 

Me:Hi,,you are well na?
(No message for another next some days,i was also getting busy in my shifts)
Me:Hi,,,say somethinglife has turned dull in doing shifts....Has your 
       message pack finished.
Anki:(After a few hours)Nopes ,,,Why you called at 3 am in the night.
Me:I was in night shift and feeling sleepy.I was calling Aniket...I called 
     you by mistake.Infact it must have been a missed call because i cut 
     the call as soon as i saw you name on calling list.You seem to be 
     angry.
Anki:I was so much angry at that time.I had set my alarm for 4.30 and 
       you called me 1.30 hr before.I had to catch the train...I have'nt slept 
       well and i am feeling so my sleepy ,,,what i am doing in the office i 
       don't know.Yu know you have spoiled my day.
Me:But...
Anki:Actually,if someone wake me from my sleep...i get angry.Don't call 
       me late night or meassage me late night.
I was dumbstruck.What the fuck i was doing these fifteen days.
Me:Thank you and sorry.
Anki:Why Thank you?
Me:Bye Darling...Bitch. 
                                                                               [Message ends]
Vp:Ha! Ha! Ha!So,you know now...
Me:Yes...Sorry and Thank You...This girl proved to be an eye opener.
Vp:Hey,,,best friends do not say sorry or thank you...
Me:I want to hug you.
While hugging...
Me:It will be be good if i love you like a girlfriend till my marriage... 
Vp:Gunjjjjaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn.... 
Both laughs....

Friday, June 29, 2012

What THe Ffuckkk

Working as an engineer in an captive power plant of an Aluminium company is quite interesting.I ,recently ,conducted a poll around my place.I asked a simple question from almost more than hundred persons.                                
Of which material is the Pepsi can made up of ?
It was interesting to know that the material is Steel.
Wtf……..!


I will tell you an another incident which occured to me while travelling from Renukoot to Howrah…
I was in SL compartment.Three passengers from Renukoot were discussing the Politics.Aw! Politics…Congress…etc The topic of discussion shifted from Congress to Sachin  to Kumar Mangalam Birla to Condoms to Science and finally settled to the petrol prices.
P1:Chopan has arrived .
P2:Yes,see the wagons carrying bauxite…
P3:You know,bauxite is use to make iron…
When i turned to see the wagons carrying bauxite,i found it to be Coal…!
wtf…..!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Cigarettes-’C’ grade or ‘SEE’ the grade before smoking

Cigarettes are injurious to health
This is a fact which we don’t want to accept in our consciousness.How do we define smoking?Is it a habit or an habit to get addicted towards this fucking smoke.Usually,we start our smoking career with Gold Flake and then the journey begins ending somewhere near our home or when we approach our respective girlfriends.The journey here refers to the physical path chosen,not the poetic one.I don’t want you to get disappear in the web of different figure of speech.What is Gold Flake or the more appropriate question in demand by the smokers fraternity would be Why always Gold Flake? Gold Flake is available in abundance,it is cheap,it is made by ITC or it has got a small filter or does the smell gives the audience the indepth sufficient reason to assume or better say belief that this guy is a born smoker.Damn!this smells like a cigarette.Believe me,other flavour of cigarettes hav’nt got the perfect scent to be defined as a cigarette.Then why not Flake?It has got the smallest filter,smells like a ‘Oh!Someone is smoking ‘.The reason known to me are it is a low quality one and most important one,it is dangerous to health.The journey started with Gold Flake moves to various cigarette stop like Navy cut, Classic, Menthol, Marlboro,Black,Cigar etc.A Cigarette like a Olympic baton always gets passing into different hands.Cigarette can be termed as a baton of smoke.If cigarette is a lightening then smoke are the clouds.In today’s scenario,cigarette has not seen any technological advances.The baton is as it was before.The clouds carry the same color.The fire burns the lungs with an increased intensity.Nothing has been done.We are aware of a powerful tool called as nanotechnology.The baton should be made of different shape and sizes.The clouds can be given different colors as gold vases are given by altering the electron distribution at the microscopic level.Today cigarette is losing its fashion.It is becoming either ‘C’ grade or, we say ‘SEE the grade before you SMOKE’.

The Last Tear

“Are you alright”,he asked.
I wondered in amazement,may be in fear,what to say and what to not.I decided to hide my emotions and feelings from him.Somehow i noticed he was not interested.He was  looking for something.His eyes were red with tears.
Man,he was crying.I stopped to ask whether this was of delight or really tears.He murmured something of which i was unable to figure anything.I repeated my urge.
He asked me one thing,every drop of my tears has got an story.Each tear has got an intense story from the previous fallen tear.The highly intense one was yet to come,I thought.He then asked ,’Which tear’.
I was confused.I thought of comparing my fear of separation with his desperation.I told ,”Let us wait till your last tear falls”.He agreed.He cried for hours.Then that final hour came.
He told,”My life had many ups and downs.I studied studied and studied till i saw my friends perishing away.They were dying.I saw i have grown old.I have forgotten my friends.But they remembered me.They wrote me letters.I ignored them.The last tear i shed was for all the previous tears.I am a culprit.”
I stood aghast.Such can be the sentiments.My fear of separation was gone.I have learned a lesson.Because everybody owes to be remembered.

My girlfriend & power plant…DANGEROUS?

Life is hard and so is thinking to frame sentences out of your emotions which are lost in the complex neuron-city of your brain. After coping with facebook and then wasting eight hours in a job which is most of the time sucking the very testesterone from your male hood. Life is really not an easy game. But hopefully there are alternatives by following them you can keep yourself in a jolly mood everytime. This was what I thought a few days ago…
Wasting your money on others is not good all the time but if others is your one of the girlfriends ,then it is worth wasting . One day ,during our regular love talks we started discussing about the kind of work which we do in our work place. She started first and as usual she did’nt stop for next one hour. Wait for a second ,did I forget to mention that she is a very talkative person. In her talks she described her position, her indulgence with all type of accounts, all kind of parts use to make a Big car or a truck or a big truck or a jeep. Again my apologies she works in a automobile company HM. If you are thinking how she ,an electrical engineer went there is a long and a uneasy story. She also mentioned the kind of person she usually meet in her daily meetings. The list includes COO of manufacturing companies,MD of various tyre making companies,all kind of dealers and stake holders . I was not surprised. She is in Purchase department, so this was in work-profile to make a deal where a deal cannot be made. When she said ,she shouts on the and bully them… I was surprised ,,,no no ,,,aghast would be a better adjective.I stood aghast on seeing the picture my mind picturised of her shouting at the MD of a big company. I said I love her work .
Now ,My turn:
Well ,my biggest fault, I asked her whether she had before visited a power plant.She gave a damn straight answer,”No Sweetheart”.
I got annoyed but I loved the answer.
So,I started by mentioning the rankine cycle,,,boiler ant turbine ,,,control room…DCS panels,,,automatic control,,,emergency works at the time of tripping.I also messaged a picture of mine in the control room sitting infront of the turbine panel. I said I do the the most adventurous work in the whole power plant.It also included myself saying, controlling a turbine or a boiler makes me feel as I am flying a rocket.I did a grave mistake by saying this words as this gave her a point to pull my leg.
“Rocket flies by itself “,she said.
“I mean to say an air plane and not exactly a rocket ,you can t think of a spacecraft.”,I said defending my previous statement.
“Those systems are auto controlled”.
“Yes…No ,there are many parameters which need to be controlled manually.Moreover planes and other systems do fly for few hours.Here turbine runs for months and boilers burns too for the same period.”,I said in a confident tone.
The next happening which happened was totally my fault but only God knows how my sub conscious mind took me to that corner of my neuron city where all the bull shit about boier feed pump,pressure,reactive power control, npsh of bfp, turbine blades,vaccum,back pressure ,etc were kept. Actually,I spoke all of that without missing a tone.
This annoyed my beloved girlfriend to such an extent that she shouted like a wife to me,”If you said another of your fucking power plant ,I am going to fuck you”.
“Power plant is sexy ,man…”,I said jokingly.
“Yes,your plant is sexy.I am happy for your job.”she said in a positive tone.
“I am happy for your job.”she said in a positive tone.
“Your work is also damn interesting but not sexy.It is violent.”I said.
“Hmmm…hmmmm…anything you say…”.She was feeling sleepy.
“Hey, you forget the satellites.”I told her in a quiet tone.
“Yes”She shouted(see the ignorance of my love). It seems as if she has jumped over her bed.
“Kavita,satellites do not have pipes in them.”
“Pipes?”
“Pipes with fluids “.
Our talks were shifting towards a different mood and flavour…ecsatasy…I will say…?

Roaring bells and dancing girls !/?









Huh ! microsoft 2003,never thought I will get a chance to experience it.Thanks to XP.
Hold please . Sitting stable with unstable minds. This is not a rare problem.
Roaring bells and dancing girls is a rare and deathly combination. I was returning on my bike from Sambalpur after meeting my clients . I love my work of a travel agent or honeymoon travels arranging agent.I have been thinking all my day of my and my friends honeymoon.In this hectic life honeymoon has become a necessity , I mean to fuck your wife , you have to take leave from office. And we say this the wonderful days in a couple’s life. A person is known by its personality and his habits ,not by how he spent holidays or how he /she fucks. Without going into the gravity of resons behind Honeymoon,I was thinking ,will my friends accept my proposal. In the meantime I was entering the dense forests of Aishdalm. I too wanted to know the truth about Aishdalm like many others.Hope I get the chance today.The slope is increasing,I thought.My bike was working hard to keep me moving.
A blanket of darkness covered the whole jungle. It was 9 pm on my watch.The subject honeymoon was helpful .Marriage, bachelor party , friends , a new life ,etc seemed enthralling and kept me driving smoothly.Suddenly ,the most anticipated thing occurred .Roaring bells and dancing girls.The place was looking like an old monument standing from time unknown.A sign of life was difficult to find.But the truth! I stopped my bike.The scene was nothing near to the Ramsay’s horror movies. I was walking up the stairs with a cigarette in my hand. A smoke was necessary at that time.I was staggering by the time I came by a door . I knocked .No answer . I knocked harder ,still no answer .Then I almost kicked the door .Certainly ,Aishdalm has become more interesting than honeymoon .
A voice came from inside,”What do you want?”
I said,” I want the truth,Truth and only truth”.
“This is a temple ,you will get what you need. Nobody has returned empty from here.You will also get something”, he replied.”
“What.Temple?This is a temple.Who is the God here and where is he?” I was stunned with the reply .
“Ha! God!Don’t you know God is everywhere and by the way whom you think you are speaking to.”He spoked .
Fuck,no .Aishdalm.God.He is making a joke out of me.
“Am I speaking to God.”, I thought .
Impossible ? Nobody can talk to God in his conscience or when he is awake and in full consciousness as I was then. I have never heard people talking to God. Instead God has turned towards his worshipers and have conveyed his orders. So in no way God is always available to have a conversation or a meeting .He is always on a business trip, I mean to pick up souls for example.
Meanwhile,I was turning mad towards this nonsense of speaking to God. I almost shouted in frenziness,” Show your face ,reveal your identity and come out of the room if you are a God”.
“To meet me in person ,go down the hallway, open the first door on your left and you will find me”,came the answer.
It sounded easy.
The very next time I was at the door.Without waiting to knock or ask for permission,I opened the door.
I stood aghast for a moment.
Weird noises was coming from all around. Sound of swirling trees, roaring bells and a pulse rising view of some dancing girls was adding to my horror. I turned back, but …?
The monument I entered no longer stood there. I was standing in the middle of the jungle or better say Aishdalm. A dense fog started to appear as if embracing the whole place with its cold .The sound seemed to be moving away.The image of dancing girls was diminishing. The scene was sending a chill through my spine.Suddenly ,the place appeared lifeless with cold dense fog disabling the view . I started to run towards the sound of the roaring bells,hoping to find a life and move out from Aishdalm.
The sound was coming from a temple which was standing on a steep sloped mountain .On reaching there the whole Aishdalm could be seen.It was dense forest but the truth of Aishdalm was now clearly visible.I could see the dense fog and the dancing girls dancing on the tune of the roaring bells.Girls wearing nothing but had their faces covered ,dancing on the rhythm of the roaring bells.I climbed down without bothering to have a look of the temple.Again I was lost in the fog. What appeard visible from the above was again lost in the dense fog of my ignorance. There was hut nearby .I entered without any delay.I could see the girls sitting in a circle,having there faces turned towards each other.
I caught hold of one of the girls and asked,”Who are you and why you have your face covered”?
“We are the holy messengers of God.We show the true path to the people who are lost in Aishdalm.”she replied.
“And this veil?”
“This world has got many worlds embedded within it ,Every time you are available in a single place playing your role.Just like that we have got many faces.It is up to you which face you want to see.”She said plausibly.
“What about dancing to the roaring bells”,I asked my next question.
“The tunes has got many tones within it ,it is the tune which you want to hear.It is the voice you want to hear,it is the path you choose.Remember you always have a choice.”
The answer seemed philosophical but reasonable.
“The temple?”I was growing impatient with every answer.
“The temple shows you the many paths .The paths is always covered with the dense fog of the uncertainities and the unknowns which is kept stored in the path for you.You always follow a path.”She answered with the same tone.
“And the God”.
“Oh ! the god.He is busy making paths .He might be somewhere in Aishdalm”She answered with a laugh.
“One more thing ,am I lost”,I asked with an impatient voice.
“No ,you were lost.Now, you are not.”
“How do I get out”.
“You were always out.Remember nobody meet God in his consciousness.”She replied as if she were mocking my question.
Again the surrounding seemed silent and the dense fog begin to covered the entire Aishdalm with its cold embrace.I know it was early in the morning and I was on my bed .A new day has started.

A different case ?


Sometimes I really get bored by myself. This is dedicated to every  friends of mine viz.,Sarmishta,Krishna Desai,Benazir,Ved,Santu and Abhinav.I am really thankful to them for bearing with me.Friends,you don’t know you provide me the strength in unexplecible numerous ways. You  are wonderful,powerful,cute and beautiful but entirely different personalities(basically no two DNAs are similar,so gene differences is the reason for your difference;Ha!).
But you have one thing in common…
Guess what?
First,requesting from deep from my throat,read my blog and this time my 206 bones awaits your comments with ,I don’t know, how many muscles.

\Blog:
The place was crowded. It seems as if the world was moving except me(please take ‘me’ as the frame of reference,speaking phyicsically).Most of them were boys and girls.Ajay made his relative velocity positive by moving towards two shaggy Germans.The Germans were sitting alongside a mad man ,him also shaggy,conversing with him in sign language.
His walk was curious.
On reaching the spot,
Ajay: Hi
Germans:Berlin,man. Berlin .
Ajay:Yeah!This ain’t Berlin.
Meanwhile,the germans seemed busy with their newly made Indian friend.
Ajay asked them in a confused tone,”Why him?”
The Germans replied in unison,”He does’nt eat or shit,man!”.
Madness comes free and so do a mad person: no food serving and no shit accumulation.
Ajay complemented them,”True…True…no eating,no shiting”.
The clock struck 2:00 pm.
She was coming to meet him.Should he hug her or just shake hands or just behave as if they were meeting in the college.It has been 12 monthe since they have completed their graduation.So much thoughts made him confused.
I should ring her.
“Hey,Where are you?”
“Beside you”.
The voice has’nt changed much,only grown more strict.Nevertheless it sounded like a sweet music(achchha lagta hai…).She was wearing white and I was in a blue jeans and bluish shirt.Not to mention,blue represents royalty and white represents peace.But keeping in mind our previous talks her work was a violent one and mine was nothing near to royalty.
“Whats up”I asked surprisingly.
“ Fine,lets go somewhere.”,she said as if she wanted to move out of that place as soon as possible.
“Lets go eat somewhere in salt lake city and then watch a sweet movie”.
“Salt lake is very far”,she said,”Come to my place”.
“okay “,I nodded positively.
The place was heavily crowded.We lost each other a couple of times at the station.At last we boarded a local train .Ours was the first stop.
“You haven’t changed”,I said.
“But you have grown fat”.
“Hey ,only my belly has pop out a little.”I said almost laughingly.
We exchanged smiles.Our meeting till then was similar to our college ones.We were about to reach Liluah.
I took hold of her hand .
<to be continued>

My wall of Dreams

Behind the wall of my dreams i hide,
Want to scream and Want to cry                                                                                         
But there is none to hear and none to bother.                                                          
The dreams are dark with none to interfere.

With clouds of agony and sense of despair,
I see myself filled with fear                                                                                                              
But i ought to be fearless when you are near                                                                                  
But she is far and fear is near.

I start to write to remove my fear,                                                                                                   
But the room is dark and words are fewer.                                                                                     
I scribble something for i see a window of light                                                                               
But i am confused is it real or a hopeless hope out of fear.

I wrote until i was empty of words,with fear vanishing in thin air,                                               
At last,my love has come breaking the walls of my dreams.                                                         
She said,”You have written a wonderful poem”.                                                   
“Darling,did you read it “,  I  asked.                                              

“No,you asked me several times to read it while you were dreaming…”. She was laughing.